Registered partnership and children: what happens when your family crosses a border?

Dutch parental authority may be clear in The Netherlands, but international families should check how it is recognised abroad

This article is a companion to “What expat couples in The Netherlands often only discover too late”. It focuses on one specific situation: a family in The Netherlands where the parents have entered into a registered partnership, a child is born during that partnership, and the family has an international dimension. For many families living in The Netherlands, the legal position feels straightforward. The partnership is registered. The child is born. Daily family life continues without legal friction. The difficulty often appears only when the family moves, travels, separates, or has to deal with a foreign authority.

The Dutch starting point: strong protection within The Netherlands

Under Dutch law, registered partnership can have important consequences for both legal parenthood and parental authority. In many cases, partners in a registered partnership have automatic joint parental authority over a child born during that partnership.

The precise legal position depends on the family structure. Where both partners are legal parents, Dutch law provides for joint parental authority during the registered partnership. In some situations, a parent and that parent’s registered partner who is not the legal parent may also have joint parental authority by operation of law, unless the child is already in a legal family relationship with another parent.

For everyday life in The Netherlands, this can give a family a strong and workable legal position. The parents can make decisions about school, medical care, travel and the child’s upbringing without having to start separate court proceedings for parental authority.

However, there is an important distinction that expat families should understand: legal parenthood and parental authority are not the same thing. Legal parenthood concerns the legal family relationship between parent and child. Parental authority concerns the right and duty to make important decisions for the child. In international situations, both may need to be assessed separately.

The problem: Dutch certainty does not always travel easily

A Dutch registered partnership is a Dutch legal status. Once a family crosses a border, the question becomes whether another country recognises that status, and whether it attaches the same consequences to it.

Some countries do not have an equivalent to registered partnership. Some recognise it only for limited purposes. Some may recognise the relationship between the adults but not automatically accept the consequences that Dutch law attaches to it for legal parenthood or parental authority.

That does not mean that Dutch parental authority simply disappears. Under Dutch law, it continues to exist unless it is changed by operation of law or by a competent authority. But the practical ability to rely on that authority abroad may be uncertain. Foreign authorities may ask for documents, may apply their own law, or may not understand the Dutch legal category at all.

Where this becomes visible

The issue often arises not in a courtroom, but in ordinary moments where proof of parental authority is needed.

• Passport applications. A passport authority may require consent from the person or persons it recognises as having parental authority. If a non-birth parent’s position is based on a Dutch registered partnership, the authority abroad may ask for additional proof or may not treat the Dutch documents as sufficient.
• Medical decisions abroad. Hospitals and doctors may require proof that an adult accompanying a child is authorised to consent to treatment. In an emergency, this can become more than an administrative inconvenience.
• School enrolment. Schools, especially international schools or schools outside The Netherlands, may request documents proving parenthood, custody or parental authority. A Dutch partnership certificate alone may not answer the question they are asking.
• Travel with children. A parent travelling alone with a child may be asked to show consent from the other parent or proof of parental authority. This can be particularly sensitive where surnames differ, where the child has more than one nationality, or where the accompanying adult is not listed on documents in a way the border authority recognizes.
• Relocation after separation. The most serious problems often arise when a relationship breaks down and one parent wants to move abroad with the child. If both adults have parental authority under Dutch law, relocation will usually require careful legal assessment and, in many cases, consent or a court decision. If the destination country does not recognise the non-birth parent’s position, enforcing or protecting that position may become more difficult in practice.

This is not only a same-sex parenting issue

International non-recognition of registered partnerships can affect different-sex couples as well as same-sex couples. The problem is the legal form and its cross-border effect, not only the gender of the partners.

Same-sex couples may, however, face an additional layer of complexity in countries that do not recognise same-sex relationships or same-sex parenthood. In those situations, the non-birth parent’s Dutch legal position may be questioned more readily, even where the family is fully protected in The Netherlands.

International rules may help, but they do not remove every problem. In international child cases, the answer does not depend only on whether a foreign country likes or understands the Dutch registered partnership. International instruments may also be relevant, including rules on jurisdiction, applicable law, recognition and enforcement of measures relating to parental responsibility.

For example, within the European Union and under the 1996 Hague Child Protection Convention, there are rules that can be relevant to parental responsibility and the recognition of protective measures. These rules can be important, but they do not make every practical problem disappear. The countries involved, the child’s habitual residence, the available documents and the exact family structure all matter.

Documents expat parents should consider

Depending on the countries involved, it may be useful to obtain and keep accessible:

• the child’s birth certificate;
• the registered partnership certificate;
• proof of legal parenthood, if separate from the birth certificate;
• proof of parental authority or an extract from the Dutch authority register where relevant;
• written travel consent where one parent travels alone with the child;
• certified translations;
• apostilles or legalisation, depending on the country where the documents will be used.

The right documents depend on the destination country and the purpose for which they are needed. It is better to check this before departure than at an embassy desk, airport, hospital or foreign school.

If your family is internationally mobile

A registered partnership can provide real protection under Dutch law. The risk is not that the Dutch position is meaningless. The risk is that another country may not recognise it in the same way, or may require additional steps before it becomes effective there.

If your family has ties to more than one country – through nationality, residence, work, family, travel or a possible relocation – it is worth checking what your parental authority means beyond The Netherlands. That question is especially important before moving abroad, separating, applying for passports or making decisions about a child’s residence.

If you recognise your situation in this article, legal advice can help you identify what is already secure, what may need to be documented, and where a foreign legal system may create risk.

For further assistance or to discuss your specific situation, please do not hesitate to contact our team at GMW lawyers.

Annemieke Robbers is a Senior Family Law Attorney • International Family Law Specialist, advising expats and international families on separation, divorce, parental authority and cross-border family law matters in The Netherlands.

You can contact her at: a.robbers@gmw.nl

This article is a companion to “What expat couples in The Netherlands often only discover too late”.

For more information about legal matters in The Netherlands, visit access-nl.org/relocating-to-netherlands/legal-matters/.