What expat couples in The Netherlands only often discover too late

Legal choices that seem simple at the time can become complicated when life becomes international.

Most clients do not come to a family lawyer because they made careless decisions. They come because earlier decisions, which seemed sensible at the time, have unexpected consequences once a relationship, a child or a move abroad becomes legally complicated. For expat couples in The Netherlands, this happens more often than many people realise. A relationship may be formalised in one country, assets may be located in another, and children may have ties to more than one legal system. What feels clear in daily life can become uncertain when a separation, relocation or official procedure forces the legal position into view.

This article highlights three recurring oversights I see in practice. It is not a warning against marriage, registered partnership or any other particular choice. It is a reminder that international families need to know what their legal arrangements actually do, and where those arrangements may stop being effective.

1. “We chose a registered partnership because it seemed simpler”

A registered partnership (geregistreerd partnerschap) is a formal legal relationship in The Netherlands. In many respects it is treated in a similar way to marriage under Dutch law. For couples who live entirely in The Netherlands, it can be a practical and appropriate choice.

The difficulty starts when the relationship has an international dimension. Outside The Netherlands, the legal effects of a registered partnership can differ significantly. Some countries do not recognise it as equivalent to marriage. Others may recognise the relationship in a limited way, but attach different consequences to it.

That can matter in very practical situations: inheritance, pensions, residence rights, tax issues, embassies, hospitals, schools and procedures involving children. A couple may have arranged their position properly under Dutch law, but still discover that a foreign authority does not treat the partnership in the way they expected.

This is particularly relevant for expat families with ties to countries where registered partnership is unknown, has a different legal meaning, or is not recognised for all purposes. The problem is rarely visible on the day the partnership is entered into. It usually appears later, when a document has to be accepted abroad or when one partner needs to rely on rights that Dutch law assumes but the other country does not.

For couples with children, the consequences can be even more sensitive. The companion article, “Registered partnership and children – what happens when your family crosses a border?”, looks at that issue in more detail.

2. “We were married, so we assumed everything was arranged”

Marriage is generally more widely recognised internationally than a Dutch registered partnership. But marriage does not automatically answer every legal question, especially for couples who have lived, worked or owned property in more than one country.

When a marriage ends, the first questions are often not emotional but legal: which court has jurisdiction, which law applies to the divorce, how should assets be divided, what happens to pension rights, and which maintenance rules apply? For expats, the answer may depend on habitual residence, nationality, the place of marriage, the location of assets and any agreements made before or during the marriage.

Dutch matrimonial property rules may also surprise people. For marriages and registered partnerships entered into The Netherlands on or after 1 January 2018, the statutory default is a limited community of property, unless the couple made different arrangements. For older marriages, or where another country’s law is involved, the position may be different. In international cases, it is risky to assume that the rule you have heard about is the rule that applies to you.

A prenuptial or partnership agreement can provide clarity, but only if it is drafted with the international context in mind. An agreement that works well in The Netherlands may still need to be checked for its effect abroad.

3. “We never thought about what would happen if one of us left The Netherlands”

International families move. Sometimes the move is planned and consensual. Sometimes it happens during a relationship crisis. Either way, leaving The Netherlands can raise legal questions that are far more complex than the practical act of booking flights or arranging housing.

If there are children, one parent usually cannot simply decide to relocate abroad with them without considering the other parent’s rights. Parental authority, consent for travel, school enrolment and the child’s habitual residence can all become relevant. If one parent leaves with the children without the required consent, the situation may become an international child abduction issue.

If there are no children, relocation can still affect the separation. It may influence where proceedings can be started, how quickly a court can act, which legal system applies and how assets or maintenance claims are dealt with.

The couples who manage these situations best are usually not the couples who predicted every possible problem. They are the couples who obtained advice before their legal position became urgent.

What expat couples should check early

If you are in an international relationship, it is worth checking at least the following points before a crisis arises:

• whether your marriage or registered partnership is recognised in the countries that matter to your family;
• which law applies to your property and financial arrangements;
• whether you need a prenuptial, postnuptial or partnership agreement;
• who has parental authority over any children, and how that can be proved abroad;
• what consent is needed before a child can move or travel internationally;
• which documents should be translated, legalised or apostilled.

Do you recognize your situation?

Many international families are legally well protected in The Netherlands, but less certain once their lives cross a border. Understanding that difference early can prevent unnecessary conflict, delay and cost later. If you recognise your own situation in one of the examples above, the first step is to understand which legal system applies, what has already been arranged, and what may still need attention.

We can work it out!

For further assistance or to discuss your specific situation, please do not hesitate to contact our team at GMW lawyers.

Annemieke Robbers is a Senior Family Law Attorney • International Family Law Specialist, advising expats and international families on separation, divorce, parental authority and cross-border family law matters in The Netherlands.

You can contact her at: a.robbers@gmw.nl

For information about legal matters in The Netherlands, visit access-nl.org/relocating-to-netherlands/legal-matters/.