My Relocation to the Netherlands

My relocation journey started when I was 24 years old. With just one backpack and a lot of courage, I moved to London. My best friend was already living in South London with her Australian boyfriend, so she gave me all the advice she could.

I was told to print 100 copies of my CV and walk from restaurant to restaurant asking if they had any openings. The hiring process then was very different to how it is now. Most interviews happened on the spot and consisted of only a few simple questions: Where do you live? Can you work full-time? Do you have any experience? Nobody could verify my answers; it was just a combination of luck, timing, and whether the manager liked you. If they did, you were handed a shift schedule and sometimes you started work that very evening. At least, that was my experience.

When I compare that to today, I realize how much the world has changed. These days we often overthink even the most important phone calls. Many people avoid direct contact and choose the safety of texting or emailing instead. We are scared of real connection, but often miss it.

Living in London for more than three years was one of the most exciting periods of my life. For the first time I had financial independence. I was earning more in one week than some of my highly educated friends in Poland were earning in a month, by being a waitress!

For me, London represented freedom, opportunity, and personal growth.

I moved several more times after my stint in London and every relocation taught me something new about myself. Yet I remember exactly when I finally felt at home again and it was in the Netherlands. It happened after the birth of my daughter.

By that time, I had already lived here for more than six years. I was married to my Dutch husband and worked alongside Dutch colleagues. On paper I was well integrated. But it was only after spending weeks in the hospital with my premature daughter that something shifted inside me. During that difficult period, I experienced incredible support, care, and compassion. For the first time, I truly felt that I belonged. The Netherlands was no longer a place where I lived—it had become my home.

On reflection, the most challenging relocation of my life was not actually moving abroad. It was the return to Poland after three and a half years in the UK. Weeks before my return I felt a growing anxiety. At the time I dismissed it; I thought it was ridiculous to be afraid of going home. Poland was where my family lived, where my friends were, and where my roots were. How could I be scared of returning to a place that was such a big part of me? But that feeling was not crazy at all. In fact, it is very common.

The truth is that we change when we move abroad. We learn new habits, adopt new perspectives, and grow in ways we often don’t even notice. I expected to return to the same life I had left behind, but neither Poland nor I were the same anymore. I no longer fit into the life I had once known so well.

Being stubborn and independent, I tried to convince myself that everything would work out. Eventually, I ended up in therapy. Relocation was not the only reason I needed support, but the feeling of being unsettled and disconnected certainly contributed to it.

That experience taught me an important lesson: home is not always a place. Home is where your heart feels safe and connected.

This is why the topic of relocation is so close to my heart. Inspired by these experiences, as well as the many relocation stories I’ve heard, I have created the Relocation Program—a helping hand for people navigating the adaptation process. As an intercultural trainer, I focus strongly on cultural differences because they play a huge role in successful integration. Understanding our own cultural background and learning about the culture we are moving into can make the transition so much smoother. I interview people on their relocation stories on Instagram, so if you’d like to share your story, please reach out!

Making a new country feel like home is a journey of openness, curiosity, and connection. Along the way, we become someone new—and that is perfectly okay. You do not have to abandon your old identity to build a new one. You are not betraying where you come from. You are simply becoming a new you.

My mission is to help people reach that stage with greater confidence and ease.

If you’re currently navigating a relocation journey, remember this: you are not alone. Missing home is a natural part of the process. It means you care. Feeling caught between two countries is normal. Many of us have been there, in that messy middle, between the countries. This too shall pass. Eventually, you will find your way home—even if that home looks different from what you originally imagined. Stay curious, stay open, try new things and trust your gut feeling!

Beata van Velzen

Polish, accompanying spouse

ACCESS Stories is a monthly newsletter with the heartfelt intent to help you make the most of your new lives in the Lowlands. Visit our Features page to explore all published stories.

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