ACCESS NL > Features > From Paris to The Hague: A Journey of Integration and Belonging
From Paris to The Hague: A Journey of Integration and Belonging
2025/09/19 | By John Fields
“I can’t think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are ignorant of almost everything. Suddenly you are five years old again. You can’t read anything, you have only the most rudimentary sense of how things work, you can’t even reliably cross the street without endangering your life. Your whole existence becomes a series of interesting guesses.”
– Bill Bryson, American journalist and author
Even best laid plans, can be improved upon
How in the world did I end up here? That was my first question upon arrival in Netherlands. This was not in my plan. I was born and raised in a small fishing village 75 miles out in the North Atlantic, at the very tip of the peninsula of Cape Cod in Massachusetts in the northeast of the United States. Despite its remoteness and size (population +/-2000), we had a rather progressive school system. At the age of 12 I was enrolled in an experimental class to learn conversational French. By the time the first semester closed I was determined to live in Paris. It was a passion that drove me for 50 years. I was fortunate to be able to retire early from software development and within 60 days had sold my home and moved to Paris. The goal had been accomplished.
Land of my ‘dreams’
Paris – my first real “expat experience” – was an eye-opener. I didn’t know anyone, I wasn’t working, I didn’t have children in school, and so many of the foundations to build a network were absent. And speaking French? That was one the quickest lessons learnt: my French needed a lot of help! After the euphoria of becoming a Parisian (of sorts), reality came soon enough. I understood that if I were going to stay, I had to find a means to integrate into French society. I was fortunate to find a volunteer position tutoring English to French students. An experience where I not only made connections with the students, but with school staff as well. Integration, it seemed, was possible. Slowly, Paris became a lot easier and nicer – fulfilling many of the expectations of a lifetime before.
Then, I met someone who would become my partner. He was a patent examiner for the French Patent Office (INPI). I was tutoring English and we both felt part of the local community. That is until he was offered a position with the European Patent Office in The Hague. At that time, all I knew about the Netherlands was that the Dutch had some sort of affinity for tulips. After spending three years in Paris, we were leaving to start all over again. I was a bit smarter about expat life than I was when I landed in Paris, so within a few months of settling into a new home, I decided to try integration via a known route –volunteering. I found ACCESS and seemed to find a new family.
Never too late, for new challenges
Among my challenges has been my attempts to conquer the Dutch language. When I relocated to France, I had at least a rudimentary understanding of the language. Just living there is a day-to-day immersion course in French. Although many Parisians speak English, they prefer not to. That means you have to learn it (and you must learn proper pronunciation, or they will pretend to not understand) otherwise you can’t function very well. The Netherlands, however, has proven to be quite the opposite. When I try to speak Dutch and they hear my accent, they immediately shift to English, making immersion in the Dutch language a real challenge. Through my contacts while volunteering at ACCESS, I have made so many new friends and have been able to establish a social network.
I have also learned that integration does not mean that I have become Dutch. I will always be just a bit outside the circle and that’s ok – I’m here to stay.
John Fields
American
Accompanying Partner
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