A Perspective on Overcoming Burnout

Working in a high-pressure environment for an extended period can significantly affect our mental and emotional well-being, not just for ourselves but also for those close to us, including our romantic partners.

One of more recent cases involved Alan (note that names and employment details have been changed), who works as part of an extremely busy team in a critical care unit for the UK’s National Health Service. It became common within his work team for most members to work at least two extra hours each day—outside of their paid roles—to keep up with administrative tasks. He has been experiencing depression and anxiety and came into therapy to understand himself better and the root causes of some of his anxious thoughts. He had also recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and by his own admission, tended to create a busy life with many plates s-pinning at the same time. With his wife’s support, he started making significant progress in the therapy sessions.

Then, one day in the session, he stated, “I feel like I have suddenly taken lots of steps backwards. Yesterday, I was driving to work and just burst out crying for no reason. It felt like a vice crushing my chest and even though I pulled myself together before I walked into the unit, as soon as I was on my own I was so anxious and overwhelmed that I left the department to find somewhere quiet and cried some more.”

Alan’s experience serves as an important reminder of how chronic stress can manifest unexpectedly. Even when it may appear that we are making progress, if certain triggers or our responses to them do not change, we may relapse. Stress can be also perceived on a continuous scale while some experience chronic stress, which if unaddressed may eventually lead to burnout. Burnout is also linked to feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, and/or even depression. Application of different management strategies, the right support, and re-creation of a better work life balance are a few protective factors.

As research indicates, burnout can stem from various work-related stressors, such as a lack of resources, low sense of control, and poor relationships with colleagues, along with overwhelming workloads. Additionally, factors like imbalanced work-life dynamics, family responsibilities, and caregiving duties can contribute to burnout if individuals don’t have time to recharge and engage in activities they enjoy. If left unchecked, burnout can escalate, impacting mental health, physical well-being, and relationships.

Because of burnout’s complexity, one needs to understand someone’s specific factors that put them at risk. As well as applying a combination of interventions supporting a person individually—as well as within their work team and organisation—it’s a good starting point to increase awareness and t-arget prevention rather than wait until a person develops more progressed symptoms to apply intervention. Anyone can start making small steps by applying self-care, including healthy diet, exercise, and cultivating positive cognitive habits. It is also crucial to employ strategies for promoting mindfulness and mutual support among co-workers as well as organisational changes to enhance mental health support for all employees, ultimately leading to improved health, creativity, and productivity.

While many of us pride ourselves on our ability to multitask, research suggests that focusing on one task at a time may be more effective for our cognitive health. This is best facilitated by taking regular breaks at a maximum of every 90 minutes in between meetings or tasks while practising 20 minutes of relaxation to help manage and lessen the accumulation of stress, which makes our brain more effective for the next task.

In our work as couples’ therapists, we frequently witness how burnout affects individuals and their romantic relationships. Burnout can leave one partner emotionally and physically drained, making it challenging to engage in activities or maintain positive interactions. Depersonalisation, one of burnout dimensions, can lead to negative perceptions and increased irritability. Poor communication and withdrawal from the relationship are common issues reported by partners, creating tension and distance.

“If left unchecked, burnout can escalate, impacting mental health, physical well-being, and relationships.”

It’s crucial for couples to address burnout collaboratively by managing stress, prioritising self-care, and seeking professional support if needed. By understanding and addressing the underlying causes of burnout together, couples can strengthen their relationship, fostering a deeper connection and a more fulfilling life together.

If you would like to know more about burnout, couples’ support, or attend one of our workshops, please visit our website www.relationshiphouse.co.uk.

To seek a therapist’s support in the Netherlands, check the ACCESS counselling network for a therapist in your area.

About the authors

Katarina Gaborova is founder of K.G Psychological Services, in the Hague, Netherlands. She works as a registered NIP psychologist and a Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT) for couples. In her practice she uses eclectic approach to therapy, combining CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), Voice dialogue, EMDR (Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), NLP (Neurolinguistic programming), BWRT (Brain working recursive therapy). She regularly delivers mental health training workshops related to topics like burnout, stress reduction, mindfulness, how to deal with change and others. She is the author of V!VA: Tools for well-being and See Bee Tee.

Thea Bailey is founder of The Amber House based in the UK. She is a Certified Gottman Therapist (CGT) for couples, a Gottman Certified Bringing Baby Home® Educator and is a practicing couples and family therapist. She is a member of BICA (British Infertility Counselling Association) and supports individuals or couples who are about to start or are going through the process of IVF. She regularly delivers mental health training workshops and works with horses, offering equine assisted counselling for clients local to her.

As originally published in the ACCESS Magazine.