Rebuilding My Life in the Netherlands

I arrived in the Netherlands from London for the first time in 1992, newly married and six weeks pregnant, to join my husband after he accepted an international role with Shell. Before relocating I had held a management position in a respected teaching hospital as a hospital pharmacist. I did not speak any Dutch and I had imagined our move would be the beginning of an exciting international adventure. Instead, it became the first of many lessons in resilience, reinvention, and letting go of the plans I originally had for my life.

Differences between the UK and Dutch education systems meant I could no longer continue my career as a hospital pharmacist. I chose to adapt rather than be discouraged, focusing on learning the language, volunteering within the pharmaceutical sector, and immersing myself in learning a new healthcare system and culture. I accepted that although my original career path had changed, I could still build a fulfilling career as a community pharmacist. It was my first lesson in embracing new possibilities instead of clinging to the life I had expected.

The personal challenges were equally significant. I experienced pregnancy and motherhood without my immediate family nearby, building a support network from scratch. Soon after my daughter was born and my qualifications were recognised, we relocated again, this time to Scotland, where I found myself rebuilding once more.

Our second move back to the Netherlands came in 2001, just one month before 9/11. We arrived from Oman as a family of four, trying to establish a new life while the world suddenly felt uncertain. My youngest daughter was a toddler, my eldest struggled with the transition, and we were all adapting to the Dutch culture, language, and way of life.

As the children settled, I turned my attention back to my career. Although I was registered with the Dutch BIG register, my basic Dutch and lack of local experience made finding work difficult. Like many internationals, I experienced rejection, frustration and self-doubt.

Rather than give up, I invested in myself. While raising my family, I qualified as an NLP Practitioner and later as a Master Practitioner through distance learning. When pharmacy opportunities remained limited, I accepted part-time work as a special needs assistant at my children’s school. It was not the career I had imagined, but it reinforced something I have carried with me ever since: our skills and strengths are often more transferable than we realise.

Life then became even more demanding. My father died in Lebanon from heart disease, and shortly afterwards my mother, who was living in Ghana, was diagnosed with cancer. She came to live with us so we could care for her. Around the same time, I secured a part-time pharmacist position at an international health centre in The Hague. Balancing work, parenting, caregiving, and grief tested every aspect of my resilience.

A couple of years later both my husband and I were made redundant. I saw it as an opportunity to start my own coaching practice. Soon afterwards, he accepted another overseas assignment. This time I chose not to relocate, remaining in the Netherlands to provide stability for my daughters as they completed school and left for university.

Life shifted again. My mother passed away, my marriage ended in divorce, and I found myself rebuilding once more, this time as a single woman living far from my own extended family. These experiences deepened my interest in understanding human behaviour and ultimately led me to qualify as a Transactional Analysis counsellor.

Then came the COVID-19 pandemic. During lockdown, I was in the Netherlands while one daughter lived in Germany, the other in the UK, their father was in the United States, and my extended family remained in Lebanon. The uncertainty of not knowing when, or even if, I would see the people I loved again was one that many internationals understood all too well.

Those years reinforced lessons that continue to unfold throughout my international life. Friends can become family. Community is essential during times of crisis. Asking for help is a sign of strength. Volunteering with organisations supporting refugees and internationals also strengthened my belief that belonging is not defined by geography but by the relationships we build.

Looking back over more than three decades of international life, I can see that every relocation, career setback, personal loss, and unexpected change shaped the person I have become. They required me to redefine success, rebuild my identity repeatedly, and develop a level of resilience I never imagined I possessed.

Today, as an NLP coach and Transactional Analysis counsellor, I support internationals navigating relocation, identity shifts, and other major life transitions. My work is grounded not only in professional training but also in lived experience. I know what it means to lose certainty, begin again, and discover that our greatest challenges can become the foundation for growth, purpose, and helping others find their way forward.

Rawia Liverpool

British, accompanying (ex)spouse

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