Reinventing Yourself Abroad

I never truly felt I belonged in Russia. Although my parents had never been abroad, my mom’s favourite actress was Marilyn Monroe — I know many of her movies by heart. My father could watch Benny Hill or National Geographic for hours, and I’d sit with him, fascinated by the world. And when I was a teenager, my favourite soccer team was Spanish Valencia.

I had built a career in cybersecurity, travelled to over 50 countries, and then focused on running my own sustainable‑fashion project. Moving the business to the ‘developed world’ could make growth easier so we applied for the startup visa during COVID, and just like that — we moved from Russia to the Netherlands.

First impressions

At first it felt like a honeymoon. But soon the war between Russia and Ukraine began and everything changed. Beyond the horror of innocent people dying, it brought a deep sense of helplessness. Watching dreadful things happen while being unable to stop them pulls you into a dark place where nothing makes sense. Why even get out of bed when it feels like ‘might makes right’?

Then PayPal left Russia, cutting off my income. My husband lost his job. Some friends in Russia stopped talking to me. People who didn’t support the war became unwelcome in Russia. I felt like an outsider everywhere.

My first idea was to get a job in the Netherlands. I had worked in tech and getting into an international company never used to be a challenge. But with a self-employed visa I needed a visa sponsor, which doesn’t really happen when you’re in business development and don’t speak the local language. We were hanging on by a thread — the only money coming in was from my business. I was stressed every day, probably why my hair went grey. I had to support the existing business or build a new one in a new country, in a completely different market. And if I couldn’t… Well, that wasn’t really an option. I was depressed, shocked, and ashamed. I was 35 and had nothing — no apartment, no job, no network, no security. In a situation like this, most expats at least have the ability to continue working with their home market. Due to the sanctions and Russia being cut off, I didn’t. I had to start my life from scratch.

The first step: choosing the journey

I kept running my existing business. It kept us afloat. But what I really wanted was direction — call it purpose or mission. Once I healed a bit, I arranged a few interviews with people who had reinvented themselves mid‑career. Then a few more, and eventually I had spoken to one hundred expat women from all over the world who rebuilt their lives from scratch.

This journey showed me that even though we all feel lonely in the darkest moments of our lives, you’re never alone. I connected with every single story — whether it was losing your home, watching your standard of living drop after moving countries, or simply trying to answer the question: Who am I now?

The second step: remember your passion

When I came across an event by TEDxTheHague, it was the first time in three years I felt genuinely excited. I joined the team and started hosting events. My first event was ‘Reinvent Yourself’. I opened the event by giving a talk on belonging. After years of feeling unwelcome, all I wanted was to make everyone in the room feel welcome, seen, and supported. I expected rejection — it had become the norm — but instead I was met with overwhelming support and kindness. I also remembered that speaking and presenting, something I had loved for years, was a passion I had forgotten.

The third step: networking and conversations

At some point, networking became a way of living. I kept interviewing female career switchers, falling in love with their bravery, courage and tenacity. That’s how the book Reinvento: Expat’s Guide to Reinventing Your Career and Identity was born. I know ‘mission’ is a strong word, but through these conversations I found my mission too. After witnessing how propaganda divides people, I became committed to cultivating communication that brings people together across cultures. I also know the cost of not using your voice — and this is why I teach communication and public speaking.

Conclusion

I love repeating that I’m a crazy Russian living in the Netherlands, tuned into American reality, and dreaming about Spain. But in my heart I belong to the community of citizens of the world, people who believe in humanity, connection, and kindness. Growing up in a small Russian city, I never imagined that I’d be hosting TEDx in the Hague, writing books in English, or running communication workshops. It’s still surreal for me but . But somehow, I feel that that’s where I belong.

Ana Denis,

Russian, startup founder

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